fourth of july

I still remember
what happened, fourth of july
why I did what I did
or at least what I tell myself
lies
so let’s just be honest, better still,
leave it unsaid
because there are no lies in the knowing lull
silence
of a conversation that ended as it began

I thought the first five lines have a nice tight rhythm to it, but the poem ends awkwardly. The lines at the end are too long, the abrupt introduction of “silence” seems pretentious. No effort made to mirror the rhythm of the first part. Hence,

I still remember
what happened, fourth of july
why I did what I did
or at least what I tell myself
lies

so let’s be honest
still better, leave it unsaid
like the lies in the lull
of grown up dinner conversation
ended when it begins

Separate into two stanzas. But also simple things make a difference, like moving “better still” to a fresh line, and changing to to “still better”, so that the first two lines of each stanza have the same syllables and stresses. Wanted to continue the parallel metrical structure, and almost made it to the finish line. Also not very sure what is stressed and unstressed, just going by feel. Would have loved a snappy one word ending that rhymes with lies, any ideas ? Was thinking of “pies” or maybe “pie” since I’m broke, but that wouldn’t be glorious.

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