life isn’t supposed to be like ridiculously happy

Oh wait, I just have to add to my list of wants from the post before. I want a dynamax med ball too. Then I want some day to do all those crossfit certifications. At this rate, I might as well open Crossfit Singapore. Did I mention parallettes? And bordering on the ridiculous, I’ll wake up one day with a pommel horse in my room. But first, to master handstands and L sits. And v sits are very impressive too.

I spent the past week rushing through my fyp paper. I refuse to dignify it with capital letters. Last Friday, when the draft was due, I had only begun on my introduction. On the Saturday after that, I moved the computer and the works into my room and began to 闭关修炼。A wonderful phrase I got from Junyong in those DSO days, when Joune Seng, Junyong and Yuhong were all discussing chinese gongfu novels and watching them (that I could take part in), although I have a nagging doubt that I’ve got the phrase wrong, certainly not unusual whenever I bungle about with chinese. It conjures images of some wounded swordsman (possibly possessing a single arm only, after his nemesis has cut his other one off) and he’s gone off to isolate himself in a cave to nurse his wounded pride and train himself up into ridiculous Jean Gray super mutant levels. So I spent a week refusing to do anything else other than my fyp, and for entertainment, I played Dungeon Keeper II on my pc with some guilt and many rationalizations. And after a week, it was a Sunday and an SDP meeting was due, so I scrambled to explain my "mixed results" and finish my fyp before the SDP meeting. I banged something out and come Monday I felt something — ridiculous happiness/contentment/smile at nothing in particular/I’m so happy I’ll wear contacts happiness. I’ve been struggling with this thing since August. It’s been a morass of depression and procrastination. I’d gone through two character deaths in spring snow and runaway horses, feeling like I’d have a go at killing myself too if this fyp business would go on any longer. I watched American Psycho and started feeling like I wanted to kill a cat myself. And on monday, this magical stack of papers was sitting on my desk with a nice looking title, "The Implied Dividend Growth Rates in Stock Prices". Who knew I could have done this, not me, surely. And so, on Tuesday, feeling pretty smug with myself, I went off to Orchard intending to get something in reciprocation for that hanbok bookmark, but I couldn’t find anything, and maybe I questioned my motives on doing it. But I also went on a shopping spree and got a pair of Canterbury shorts, since just looking at that logo gets me motivated enough to want to spear someone. This prolonged mood of happiness has seen me not do anything for work until today when I copied Yuhong’s answers and mashed them together with Jijun’s to email in SCM assignment number x at 11:59 with something about being in the nick of time and regards, thank you very much.

Had golf lesson number 3 today and I think I’ve got the basics down. Gotta keep the head still, rotate the hips for more power, keep the club angle, and keep the club face square. Golf is more fun when you’re twhacking the life out of a ball and it goes high and straight. More often than not, it slices to the right. Sometimes you scuff it and it plops forward. Then, there are times when you totally miss the shot. Is there some grand life lesson to be dutifully learnt and compartmentalized, stored and then dredged up and referred to for instruction and inspiration when confronted with the travails of life? Certainly not. Oh, just remember it is good manners to tip the kind soul who drove you in and saved you from walking the rest of the way into Keppel Club like a mere peasant with a golf ball worth 8cents when he’s run out himself. And this: that I can swing better than Mr Lua for now.

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